Tidal

When they use doilies at your middle school dance

When you make it up two whole flights of stairs before getting winded

When you hit all the piano keys at once

When you win the nursing home's bingo night twice in a row

When you break the glass ceiling by becoming the CEO of an exploitative company

When you tell your TV audience they can gain God's favor for the low low price of $19.95

When five compartments of the ship are breached by an iceberg

When you take off your shoes before putting your feet on the table

When you dribble through the warmup cones without knocking any over

When your grandpa worked his whole life to get coal but you already have diamonds

When you carry two folding chairs at once

When you silence all opposition to your brutal regime

When you make propellor noises while you run

When you can't afford a new helipad for your yacht

When you trade one dollar for two quarters

When you shrink the margins of your essay to hit the page count

When you write a puzzle using stock images but don't pay for the licenses

When the smart kid does the entire group project